~*~ Waiting ~*~

~*~ Welcome ~*~

Welcome Tomodachi! Please feel free to browse through my blog and read the posts. Kindly leave a comment or a post at the chatter box before you leave. Domo arigattou ne.

~*~ Update/s ~*~

February 18, 2009
Owai! Profile has been updated. Links will follow in a month or so. Might change layout in a month or so too. Revamping on the process.

July 13, 2006
Finally! another update! Edited the links portion. added new links and added a new fanlisting. LoL. Changed the Comments Area. it's now back to a Pop-up Basis so as to not make it harder for the first one to comment. LOL. Made a new blog, shared with two college friends. you can view it here.

June 14, 2006
Woo. Pathetic me. I didnt realize that the Scroll Text Script is working on IE but definitely not on Firefox [slash] Mozilla. Changed the song on the Text Script. Now features the song "Sekai Ga Owaru Made Wa" by WANDS. Also, this blog is back to version one. :D

May 20, 2006
New Lay out! Featuring Raiha from the Anime/Manga Series, Flame of Recca. Redirected the site URL to kaminari-yoru.blogdrive.com. Another fanlisting was added. Still, the Scroll Text Script isn't fixed.

April 17, 2006
A new fanlisting was added. Commenting with pop-ups are only accessible when at least one had given a comment. Other links are finally edited and there were a few added. Still, the Scroll Text Script isn't fixed.

February 18, 2006
The permalink area is being used for commenting. No pop-ups at the moment. People who want to comment must click the link 'leave me alone' and will be redirected to Home but clicking the 'chestnut' button once again will lead them to the commenting area. The Scroll Text script isn't functioning properly so I still have to work on it.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009 waited `til 03:35 am

UNFAIR.

i dont know if it's because i'm lacking something, or it is really unfair. for the past few weeks, months, i've been doing nothing but do this stupid thesis. i even flunked the MCAT just because of this. i wasted everything. darn it. why is it so unfair? of all the effort i've been exerting just get this done, why is it that i dont have anything positive in return? it's so aggravating and depressing. i'm trying my best not to mope about all these but seeing all this right before my eyes makes me wanna do so. dont i even deserve a break from all these? should this be my life from now on?

it's just so unfair. i've done MORE THAN HALF of the work yet i still get nothing in return but negative results. have my faith faltered? i hope not. i'm doing my best to keep it going. my best to make it strong each and every single day. im freaking breaking down from all these. yet there's not even a soul i can lean on. just me, myself and GOD.

im pushing myself even more than the limit yet my efforts all have gone to waste and i dont even know if i still can make it. my soul wanted to escape from all these. my soul wanted to be free. to be what i used to be. but i just cant. everything's hindering me to do so.

oh how i wish someone could lift me up. someone who would assure me that i can get through all this in no time. that i'm gonna be able to succeed. that i'll be weaing that victorious smile.

after all, there is sunshine after the rain, right? a rainbow that would give color to our tear streaken sky.

i hope it will be soon. soon enough to not make things too late.

Currently listening to:
Art of Life

wait for me..

Saturday, April 11, 2009 waited `til 02:13 am

unbalanced

im torn between two genres. classical // chorale and alternative // pop. all my life, i've been on the alternative // pop side, performing in various places, singing my heart out, making my parents proud.

all i can say is... wow.

now that i've given thought of it, i've always been hiding behind the shadows, not wanting to go out and spread the talent. confusing isnt it? :) the real thing is, im always forced to sing.well, not always. most of the time. i have this phobia that i might not satisfy the people i'll be singing in front of. im afraid of the criticisms they might throw at me. for, of course, my parents always wanted me to sing like a diva of some sort, making me sing endless ballads here and there when all i ever wanted to sing are different songs of different genres. of course, i really dont fancy singing dance songs or whatever you call them. it's just so plain boring. especially if you're just going to sway and feel like dancing when you're singing it. i prefer singing those kind of songs if it's choreographed with a few dancers at the back. haha.

going back, it's as if i always wanted to be out of the limelight. i was never the hey-i-can-sing type. i am never like that.

however, i love singing more than everything.

so i tried out for the local choir in our parish after a second invitation by my childhood friend. of course. it was waaaaaaaaaaaaaay different from the singing i have known since. it was hard. real hard. i have to use falsetto and head tone most of the time, andof course, i have to blend it. the placement and the techniques are one big contrast. and the effect is as well. in here, i felt happier. coz im not alone in the limelight. im always with people who could back me up. it was different. and it almost the one i was longing for.

however, that's not the case.

im really more into alternative and i just cant let go of that. i have to do something. im trying my best right now to balance the two. but its always as if one overshadows the other. there's no homeostasis. no yin yang. no equilibrium. no center of gravity.