i dont know if it's because i'm lacking something, or it is really unfair. for the past few weeks, months, i've been doing nothing but do this stupid thesis. i even flunked the MCAT just because of this. i wasted everything. darn it. why is it so unfair? of all the effort i've been exerting just get this done, why is it that i dont have anything positive in return?  it's so aggravating and depressing. i'm trying my best not to mope about all these but seeing all this right before my eyes makes me wanna do so. dont i even deserve a break from all these? should this be my life from now on?

it's just so unfair. i've done MORE THAN HALF of the work yet i still get nothing in return but negative results. have my faith faltered? i hope not. i'm doing my best to keep it going. my best to make it strong each and every single day. im freaking breaking down from all these. yet there's not even a soul i can lean on. just me, myself and GOD.

im pushing myself even more than the limit yet my efforts all have gone to waste and i dont even know if i still can make it. my soul wanted to escape from all these. my soul wanted to be free. to be what i used to be. but i just cant. everything's hindering me to do so.

oh how i wish someone could lift me up. someone who would assure me that i can get through all this in no time. that i'm gonna be able to succeed. that i'll be weaing that victorious smile.

after all, there is sunshine after the rain, right? a rainbow that would give color to our tear streaken sky.

i hope it will be soon. soon enough to not make things too late.